I received this today, and it made me chuckle even though I am firmly convinced that our economy is on the upswing and things will be better soon. (Or maybe I was able to laugh precisely because I think things will be better soon?)
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Our economy is so bad that:
. . . I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
. . . I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
. . . CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
. . . if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
. . . Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
. . . McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
. . . parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
. . . a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
. . . Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
. . . Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
. . . the Mafia is laying off judges.
. . . Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
. . . Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madof scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally... the economy is so bad that:
. . . I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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And if you didn't like this list, well just remember it was free. You get what you pay for, right? When the economy improves, maybe you'll be able to afford some "real" entertainment.
Happy Tuesday, my bloggy friends. Happy Tuesday.