Back in the day, before she went AWOL, Tova Darling of the blog "Secret Life of Tova Darling" used to run a weekly feature entitled Totally Awkward Tuesdays, in which she would tell a tale of something totally awkward that had happened to her, and would invite readers to post links to their blogs in which they wrote about something totally awkward that had happened to them. It was totally awkward hilarity all around.
Well, I'm busy with Arizona Trivia Tuesdays all year, so I can't revive Totally Awkward Tuesdays on my own blog. However, something totally awkward happened on Tuesday and I just can't resist telling you all about it. And so even though I'm posting it on a Thursday, I'm entitling it "Totally Awkward Tuesday," as a tip o' the hat to dear Tova, who I miss very much now that she is no longer blogging (or if she is blogging somewhere, I haven't found her and she has apparently abandoned her "Secret Life..." blog).
Here is my tale:
I have a friend, we'll call him "Jim" since that's his name, who I have known since law school, which we both attended back in the early 1990's. He used to rent a room from us, and then he moved out, but he kept his key and he is such a good friend, almost family really, so he drops by often. If he drops by and we're here (as evidenced by a car or two in front of the house), he knocks. If he drops by and no one is home, he uses the key and lets himself in. Sometimes we come home to find him kicking back by the TV. Other times, he's cooking us dinner. Either way, we're always happy to see him.
Jim's parents visit him from the northern climes at least once, sometimes twice a year, generally when the weather is nice here and it's butt-freezing cold there. Generally, we go to dinner with them at least once while they are here.
Jim's parents are extremely kind people. We love them. But Jim's dad often mumbles and talks in a very low voice. Many times we have to ask him to repeat what he has said. But sometimes that gets awkward so if the context makes it pretty clear, we just nod and smile even if we're not 100% sure what he said. My dad does this mumbly, low-talking thing, too (and wasn't there a "Seinfeld" episode about that, as well?), the difference being that I'm better at guessing and/or reading lips with my own dad than I am with Jim's dad.
So Tuesday night, we went to dinner with Jim and his parents. We went to an awesome middle eastern restaurant nearby. Jim's dad ordered a platter that came with tabouli as a side dish.
When our food was served, Jim's dad leaned toward me and said (at least I thought he said) that he doesn't really like tabouli, and asked if I would like to have it. I said, "You don't like it at all?" He said (I thought) that he doesn't like it and wasn't planning to eat any of it, and that I could have it if I wanted it. So I said, "Sure, I love tabouli. If you don't want it, I'll be happy to have it." The waiter brought an extra plate, and Jim's dad held his plate up over the plate the waiter brought, as if for me to scrape the tabouli onto my plate.
About halfway through the scraping process, he abruptly moved his plate away. So I stopped scraping even though I was a bit confused because about a fourth of the tabouli was still on his plate and I thought he had stated that he didn't like it and wasn't planning to eat any of it.
He then proceeded to eat every last bite of food that was on his plate, including all of the tabouli that remained there.
I offered him some of my salad, which I had not yet touched. He declined. I pushed the side order of hummus, which we had ordered as a shared appetizer for all of us, in his direction, but he didn't eat any of it. Just kept scraping up random bits of tabouli that were still on his plate, until it was completely bare.
He literally scraped every last little couscous and parsley morsel onto his fork. For a man who (I thought) had stated he did not like tabouli, he was acting like it was his favorite dish! His plate was practically licked clean, and he looked like he wanted more tabouli.... but I had already eaten from the portion I had taken from his plate, so it didn't seem appropriate to offer to give it back.
When Jim's mom seemed like she was done, and had some tabouli left, he even ate some of her tabouli....
So then I felt like I had taken this kind man's food and made a complete pig of myself.
It was all very weird. And awkward.
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If you want to join the awkward hilarity, please feel welcome to either tell your tale, or post a link to your own blog with your tale, in the comments section. I'm too lazy to set up "Mr. Linky" the way Tova always did!