Tonight's smarty-pants comment:
LegalMist's husband was teasing LegalMist's son ("LMS" - 7 years old) tonight. I don't even remember what the teasing was about, but LegalMist's son had taken all the teasing he could take, so he grumped:
"You're an idiot, Dad!"
We can't have the kids calling names so of course I jumped in and said, "LMS, that's not nice, and it's not true. Your daddy is one of the smartest men I know."
So LMS muttered under his breath: "You must not know very many men...."
* * *
I would have chastised him for that, too, but my husband was laughing out loud, so I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have done any good.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Interesting Study Results
In addition to forwarding funny videos and jokes by email, sometimes my friends forward to me interesting facts or abstracts from scientific studies. This one is particularly fascinating, and was forwarded by my friend Nancy, an expert in relationship studies:
"A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected on this subject."
---
I've been so busy lately. I'll get back to writing real posts, instead of copying from my emails, soon. I promise.
"A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected on this subject."
---
I've been so busy lately. I'll get back to writing real posts, instead of copying from my emails, soon. I promise.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
For Dog Lovers Everywhere...
This video* is even better than last month's video posting. I received it via email, because I have such great friends who send me such great stuff. You all should be so lucky, right? (Well, SkyDad is that lucky, too - have you seen his Bad Tat Tuesdays? Of course you have, of course you have...)
----
Footnotes (because I'm a lawyer, that's why):
* I'd be happy to give credit to the fantabulous creator(s) of this video, if anyone knows who he/she/they might be -- just leave a comment.
----
Footnotes (because I'm a lawyer, that's why):
* I'd be happy to give credit to the fantabulous creator(s) of this video, if anyone knows who he/she/they might be -- just leave a comment.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday Funnies - Forwarded From Friends - Reprise
Another groaner for you all, received in my inbox today (I really should get a better spam filter....):
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.
When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.
When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Jack-A-Roo-Dave-La
When I was a kid, I loved the Beatles. Still do, actually.
"Across the Universe" is one of my favorite Beatles songs. It's got such a pretty melody, and deep and meaningful (translate: obscure) lyrics that can rattle around in your brain all day. My daughter loves the song, too.
So on our recent trip to California, we were playing the CD in the car and singing along.
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass, they make
Their way across the Universe.
Pools of sorrow rays of joy
Are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me....
And then ... what are those words?
I suddenly realized that, in my 40+ years of existence, I had never bothered to learn what that next lyric really is. As a kid I always just sang, "Jack-a-roo Dave la" without ever thinking about it. But that can't be it, can it?
Jack a Roo Dave la.... ohhh....
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million
Eyes, they call me on and on,
Across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make
Their way across the Universe....
Shit, there it is again... what's that line? It sounds for all the world like "Jack a roo Dave la.... ohhhh..." but that just can't be it!! ....
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open views
Inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million
Suns, it calls me on and on,
Across the Universe.
Dang. There it is again, "Jack a Roo Dave la.... ohhhh...."
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Jack a roo Dave la
Jack a roo Dave la
Jack a roo Dave la.....
It makes no sense, Jack a roo Dave la. My daughter even asked, "what are they saying there?" And I had to confess I had no idea. ... "Jack a roo Dave la?" I said... and to her credit she actually laughed at me instead of accepting that as true.
I drove for hours with that lyric rattling around in my head.
Here, if you don't know the lyric, you try to figure it out (from this admittedly rough YouTube clip of the Beatles working on Across the Universe and Dig a Pony)!
See, you can't figure it out either, right?
When we got to the hotel, I looked it up on the wondrous modern invention we call the internet (whether invented by Al Gore or not, it is certainly a wonderful thing).
Turns out, the phrase is "Jai Guru Deva... om" which, loosely translated and according to Wikipedia, means something like, "Glory to the divine Guru," and is followed by the traditional transcendental meditation chant of "Om."
Wow, what a thing to learn after 40 years of singing "Jack a roo Dave la.... ohhhh" as if that made any sense at all.
Hopefully I've just saved some of you from the same fate.
Or maybe you knew all that already and (in the words of Rebecca Howe of the long-running sit-com Cheers), "I am too stupid to LIVE!"
* * *
In my defense, the phrase "Jack-a-Roo" isn't that far out there (except for the fact that it makes no sense at all in the context of the song). The Grateful Dead have a song entitled Jack-A-Roe.
* * *
"Across the Universe" is one of my favorite Beatles songs. It's got such a pretty melody, and deep and meaningful (translate: obscure) lyrics that can rattle around in your brain all day. My daughter loves the song, too.
So on our recent trip to California, we were playing the CD in the car and singing along.
Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass, they make
Their way across the Universe.
Pools of sorrow rays of joy
Are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me....
And then ... what are those words?
I suddenly realized that, in my 40+ years of existence, I had never bothered to learn what that next lyric really is. As a kid I always just sang, "Jack-a-roo Dave la" without ever thinking about it. But that can't be it, can it?
Jack a Roo Dave la.... ohhh....
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million
Eyes, they call me on and on,
Across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make
Their way across the Universe....
Shit, there it is again... what's that line? It sounds for all the world like "Jack a roo Dave la.... ohhhh..." but that just can't be it!! ....
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open views
Inciting and inviting me.
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million
Suns, it calls me on and on,
Across the Universe.
Dang. There it is again, "Jack a Roo Dave la.... ohhhh...."
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Jack a roo Dave la
Jack a roo Dave la
Jack a roo Dave la.....
It makes no sense, Jack a roo Dave la. My daughter even asked, "what are they saying there?" And I had to confess I had no idea. ... "Jack a roo Dave la?" I said... and to her credit she actually laughed at me instead of accepting that as true.
I drove for hours with that lyric rattling around in my head.
Here, if you don't know the lyric, you try to figure it out (from this admittedly rough YouTube clip of the Beatles working on Across the Universe and Dig a Pony)!
See, you can't figure it out either, right?
When we got to the hotel, I looked it up on the wondrous modern invention we call the internet (whether invented by Al Gore or not, it is certainly a wonderful thing).
Turns out, the phrase is "Jai Guru Deva... om" which, loosely translated and according to Wikipedia, means something like, "Glory to the divine Guru," and is followed by the traditional transcendental meditation chant of "Om."
Wow, what a thing to learn after 40 years of singing "Jack a roo Dave la.... ohhhh" as if that made any sense at all.
Hopefully I've just saved some of you from the same fate.
Or maybe you knew all that already and (in the words of Rebecca Howe of the long-running sit-com Cheers), "I am too stupid to LIVE!"
* * *
In my defense, the phrase "Jack-a-Roo" isn't that far out there (except for the fact that it makes no sense at all in the context of the song). The Grateful Dead have a song entitled Jack-A-Roe.
* * *
Happy singing, Beatles fans, happy singing.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Movie Recommendation
We were on vacation, looking for a movie for the kids to watch one evening. I was running down the list of free movies available at the hotel: the SpongeBob Squarepants Movie, the Dog Hotel movie, the Simpsons movie, Where the Wild Things Are...
LegalMist's Daughter (age 11): Ooh, I haven't seen that one!
LegalMist's Son (age 7): I read the book. It was quite good.
LegalMist's Daughter (age 11): Ooh, I haven't seen that one!
LegalMist's Son (age 7): I read the book. It was quite good.
Monday, May 17, 2010
I Need a New Job
I am sick to death of litigating against obnoxious attorneys.
I am sick to death of clients who don't pay.
My worst case: a client who hasn't paid since September, with the obnoxious attorney with time issues (a.k.a. "O.A.") on the other side. I receive at least three things in the mail each week in connection with this case. Generally two or three "nasty grams" - i.e., snotty-toned letters from O.A. - plus a motion, subpoena, discovery request, or notice of some sort. And all in conjunction with at least a couple of nasty emails from her, or a reasonably nice email from her legal secretary. All of which requires me to take the time to respond - time for which I likely will never get paid.
I am sick to death of worrying about how to pay this month's round of bills in this crappy economy with clients who can't collect from their clients and therefore can't pay their bills either.... including mine.
(Really. Literally. I've been sick more often in the past year than I have in my entire 40+ other years of existence. And depressed, too. I can't take it any more.)
I need a new job, and I need it now. A job that does not require litigation. A job that pays a regular paycheck. Preferably a job that involves interacting with (reasonably polite) people, but not trying to collect past-due money from them.
Anybody hiring?
I am sick to death of clients who don't pay.
My worst case: a client who hasn't paid since September, with the obnoxious attorney with time issues (a.k.a. "O.A.") on the other side. I receive at least three things in the mail each week in connection with this case. Generally two or three "nasty grams" - i.e., snotty-toned letters from O.A. - plus a motion, subpoena, discovery request, or notice of some sort. And all in conjunction with at least a couple of nasty emails from her, or a reasonably nice email from her legal secretary. All of which requires me to take the time to respond - time for which I likely will never get paid.
I am sick to death of worrying about how to pay this month's round of bills in this crappy economy with clients who can't collect from their clients and therefore can't pay their bills either.... including mine.
(Really. Literally. I've been sick more often in the past year than I have in my entire 40+ other years of existence. And depressed, too. I can't take it any more.)
I need a new job, and I need it now. A job that does not require litigation. A job that pays a regular paycheck. Preferably a job that involves interacting with (reasonably polite) people, but not trying to collect past-due money from them.
Anybody hiring?
Labels:
i hate lawyers,
i need a new job,
rants,
sick and tired
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday Feature - Workforced
For a while, I was posting "Friday Features" every week, in which I spotlighted other blogs that I love. I gave it up because I wasn't getting many comments so I thought perhaps it wasn't a very popular feature and that no one really cared which blogs I love. Or maybe you all were already reading them and didn't need my recommendations.
Recently, I've posted some "Friday Funnies" - trying to amuse my readers.
This week, I'm posting a Friday Feature that's guaranteed to make you smile. Sort of a "Friday Featured Funny Blog" or something like that. You may already know this blog. But if you haven't already heard of it (or even if you have), pop on over and check out Workforced. You won't regret it.
Don't worry. I'll wait patiently for you to read awhile (seriously -- read through some older posts, as well as today's!) and then come back.
* * * * * * *
Oh, good, there you are! Thought I might not see you again once you discovered Don Joe's wonderfully hilarious blog . . .
Welcome back!
* * * * * * *
Every time I read Workforced, it makes me glad (again) that I left the world of working for others to start my own business.
Sadly, the economy is having an awful effect on the number of clients who pay me, and thus on my income. I may have to return to the world of working for others who can pay me a salary, rather than spending my days trying to get blood from turnips who won't or can't pay their legal bills. If I do return to the corporate working world, I hope I can approach it with the same humor that Don Joe over at Workforced displays. Otherwise, I'll surely go mad within a month!
Happy Friday, my bloggy friends, Happy Friday!
Recently, I've posted some "Friday Funnies" - trying to amuse my readers.
This week, I'm posting a Friday Feature that's guaranteed to make you smile. Sort of a "Friday Featured Funny Blog" or something like that. You may already know this blog. But if you haven't already heard of it (or even if you have), pop on over and check out Workforced. You won't regret it.
Don't worry. I'll wait patiently for you to read awhile (seriously -- read through some older posts, as well as today's!) and then come back.
* * * * * * *
Oh, good, there you are! Thought I might not see you again once you discovered Don Joe's wonderfully hilarious blog . . .
Welcome back!
* * * * * * *
Every time I read Workforced, it makes me glad (again) that I left the world of working for others to start my own business.
Sadly, the economy is having an awful effect on the number of clients who pay me, and thus on my income. I may have to return to the world of working for others who can pay me a salary, rather than spending my days trying to get blood from turnips who won't or can't pay their legal bills. If I do return to the corporate working world, I hope I can approach it with the same humor that Don Joe over at Workforced displays. Otherwise, I'll surely go mad within a month!
Happy Friday, my bloggy friends, Happy Friday!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day From the Boys
Received this in my email inbox; thought you all might enjoy it, too:
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
(If the "embed" feature is broken, you can find this awesome video at http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/388972/).
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
(If the "embed" feature is broken, you can find this awesome video at http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/388972/).
Labels:
cool videos,
happy Mother's Day,
LOL,
more email fun
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