Sorry about the title. I just couldn't resist the alliteration, given that today's post is all about word play.
Here are some useful new words, along with their definitions, which arrived in my email inbox this morning:
1. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
6. Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
7. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
8. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
9. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
10. Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
11. Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
12. Willy-nilly: Impotent.
13. Negligent: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
14. Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.
15. Rectitude: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
16. Pokemon: A Rastafarian proctologist.