Friday, September 14, 2012

If you look up "Obtuse" in the dictionary, her picture is there...

Here is two minute snippet of how my deposition went on Wednesday.  (The facts have been changed to protect the guilty.)

If the witness would have simply answered "yes," "no," or "I don't know" to my questions, we could have been finished in about 3 hours.  Instead, she acted like this, and it took 6 hours:

* * * *

Me:  While Mr. X worked for you, did Mr. X receive training in Y?

Witness:  I have no personal knowledge of that.

Me:  Do you have any kind of knowledge, other than personal knowledge, regarding whether Mr. X received training regarding Y?

Witness:  No.

Me:  So would it be fair to say that you do not know whether Mr. X received training in Y while he worked for you?

Witness:  Well, I have no personal knowledge about that.  
[Editor's note:  her emphasis, not mine!]

Me:  Is there some kind of knowledge other than personal knowledge that you do have regarding whether Mr. X received training in Y while he worked for you?

Witness:  No.

Me:   So then, if you have no personal knowledge and no other kind of knowledge, do you have any knowledge about it at all?

Witness:  Well, I have no personal knowledge about it.

Me:  When I asked you whether Mr. X received training in Y while he worked for you, is there some reason that you could not simply respond "I don't know" or "I don't have any knowledge about it"?

Witness:  I'm just trying to make things clear.

Me:  It would make things very clear if you could simply answer "yes," "no," or "I don't know" to my questions.  Do you think you can do that, so that things will be more clear and so that we can finish this deposition in a reasonable amount of time?

Witness:   OK.
[Editor's note -- she's already not complying...]


Me:  Did Mr. X receive training in Y while he worked for you?

Witness:  I have no personal knowledge about that.


* * * *

Holy crap.  

Can you spell   "I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N-A-L-L-Y   O-B-T-U-S-E"  ?

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A Liberal's Prayer (more email fun)


Dear Lord,

I know that I don't talk to you that much, but this year you have 
 taken away:

 my favorite  screenwriter, Nora Ephron,
 my favorite visionary, Steve Jobs,
 my favorite Science Fiction author, Ray Bradbury,
 my favorite childrens' author, Maurice Sendak,
 my favorite oldies disk Jockey, Dick Clark,
 my favorite hairdresser, Vidal Sassoon,
 my favorite Bluegrass Musician, Earl Scruggs,
 my favorite Monkee, Davy Jones,
 my favorite 60 Minutes guy, Mike Wallace,
 my favorite pop singer, Whitney Houston,
 and my favorite TV Sheriff, Andy Griffith,

 I just wanted to let you know that my favorite radio announcer is 
 Rush Limbaugh.

 Amen.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday Funny - from my inbox...

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.


On my desk, I have a work station.


What more can I say?

Monday, July 23, 2012

Sometimes I'm just not that bright...

I picked up my car at the shop after hours on Friday, after having some minor repairs done.  They had locked the keys in it, and left them under the mat for me.  It was dark and I didn't find the keys easily, so I used my spare set to drive it home, leaving the keys under the mat, temporarily.

Got home, parked, opened the car door, gathered my things, hit the "door lock" button on the door of the car, shut the door, went inside the house...  Remembered the spare set of keys under the mat as I walked into the house, but  I was tired, so I figured I'd just get them next time I went out.

Saturday, I needed to go to the store, but I couldn't find my keys.  I looked everywhere for them, without success.  Finally, in desperation, I called AAA - I figured they could unlock the car and open it, and then I could get the spare set from under the mat, and I'd just find the regular set later when I had more time to search.

AAA arrived very quickly (fewer than 10 minutes!), and the man used his "breaking into cars" tool and opened the door in about 15 seconds flat.

(I must say, I'm not encouraged about my chances if a car thief decides he wants my car... !)

So I opened the car door and what did I find?  Both sets of keys under the mat.  I guess I must have put the regular set under the mat instead of getting the spare set out from under it when I parked Friday night.  And no, I had *not* been drinking!

I don't know what I was thinking with that one...  Sometimes, I'm just not that bright...

Friday, May 18, 2012

Phriday Foto -- Hot Dog!

Just....  wow!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Pulitzer Project Book Review - The Road - Cormac McCarthy

I promised this review a long time ago. Some of you may have forgotten (or never have known) about it, it's been so long.

Click here for the run-down on the Pulitzer Project.

Click here for the "rules" for participation on this blog (they basically boil down to, "criticize all you like, but be respectful," and here for the Spoiler Alert.

I've taken way too long to try to write this review.  And I've put off reading other Pulitzer books while waiting to post the review of this one.  I just kept putting it off.  And ignoring it.  And avoiding it.  And putting it off some more.  At first, I thought it was because I was trying to come up with something "new" or creative to say about the book.  Then I thought it was because I was busy.  But really, no one is *that* busy.  Then I thought it was because I needed to refresh my memory about the book to make sure I didn't leave out anything important in reviewing it.

None of those reasons was the real reason. In the end, I've concluded that I put off writing about it for so long because I didn't really like it.

While I was reading it, it drew me in.  I read it in just a couple of days on a vacation.  Despite the lack of much of a plot (just a father and son walking, walking, walking through a post-apocalyptic, completely destroyed world, seeking food, shelter, and safety from roving mobs of armed and dangerous cannabilistic thugs), I kept turning the pages, wanting to see "what comes next."

McCarthy writes well, and certainly raises (without really answering) some interesting questions about the meaning of existence and why it is that we keep on keeping on even when the deck is stacked against us and life just sucks. And also I kept thinking, heck, the book won a Pulitzer, so there must be *something* good about it that merited the prize.  (Then again, maybe the Pulitzer award givers enjoy this post-apocalyptic depressing crap...)

But when all was said and done, I heartily disliked the repetitive, bleak scenes and the disutopian outlook.  I felt drained and sad after reading it, and no more "enlightened" than before I started.  And so I'm done.  I'm moving on.  I'm not going to write any more about this book.  And it may be a while before I'm motivated to read anything else by McCarthy.  Too damn depressing.

If someone out there actually liked it, please tell me what redeeming qualities it has.  Maybe I'll learn to appreciate it.  But as it stands now, I'm writing off this Pulitzer winner as a dud.

And suddenly I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders.  I am now free to move on to (hopefully) better prize-winners in my quest to read them all.  To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (I hope, without offending anyone who thinks it is trite to compare my feelings about moving on from this depressingly awful book to Dr. King's feelings about ending racism -- I admit there is no comparison but I swear I just feel so exuberant!):

Free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!

Monday, May 7, 2012

PARTY!!! .... or not.....

Here is a copy of the invitation my daughter received from her friend at school (redacted to protect the guilty), about 10 days ago:


Here is the text of an email I received Friday afternoon (with identifying information removed, to protect the innocent):


I sincerely apologize for this note, but my daughter, as well as a few of her friends, took it upon themselves to creatively plan a party WITHOUT parental approval.

They got so far as to produce and hand out invitations to most, maybe all, of the 8th grade. Some of you may have received the invitation (I have yet to see it myself) inviting you or your children to our home this Sunday evening.

While we certainly enjoy hosting a party, unfortunately, it is not going to happen this time because of the manner in which it was conceived (the times, the date, the cover charge- LOL), AND, last but not least, the fact that I didn't hear about it myself until I was sent a text from another parent offering to help.

I guess there is something to laugh about and something to learn from this situation. Cheers to parenting, and I apologize again - but there is no party Sunday!

* * * * * 

First thought upon reading this email:  My daughter attends a school that is rated one of the best in the State, and yet her classmates apparently are not smart enough to wait until their parents are *out of town* to plan a party without parental approval?!?

(I am thinking Arizona is correctly ranked 41st in education nationally....)

Second thought:  "Judge not, LegalMist, lest ye be judged...."   I am *so very glad* it wasn't my kid planning the "unauthorized" party!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Forget Depression.... Telecheck SUCKS!

Thanks to everyone for your kind words on my "Depression sucks" post. Nothing quite like anger and frustration to get me past depression, though, and onto the next phase.

So today I made copies for two clients at Office Max. I wanted to write a check to pay for the copies, using my business checking account.

The check was declined.

Confused, I called my bank. The bank verified the amount of funds in my account, which exactly matched the amount I had written in my checkbook register, and far exceeded the amount of the check I was writing to Office Max (a pretty measly $156, actually).

So, Office Max ran the check again.

Declined again.

Office Max uses a company called "Telecheck" to determine whether they should accept a particular check. Apparently, if Telecheck allows them to accept a check, Telecheck will guarantee payment of it.

So they called Telecheck, who said, essentially, "try it again." So, they ran it two more times, still declined.

Telecheck would not give Office Max any reason why it was declined, so Office Max gave me the number to call.

After a lengthy menu tree and entering all sorts of data, I was finally connected with a live person, who told me the check was declined because that check number had been "used too many times."

"Well, that's because Office Max ran it through the system 4 times," I said -- "and two of those times were after you advised them to 'try again.'"

"Oh," she replied, "and also because you don't have a history of using any checks on that account through a Telecheck merchant."

"Um... let me get this straight.... you're not going to let Office Max accept my check because you've never accepted a check from me before? Do you ever accept checks from anyone?!? How does anyone get that first check accepted?"

"Well, you have to write smaller checks at Telecheck merchants first, and build up a credit history with us."

(WTF?!?!? I thought) "Let me speak with a manager, please."

I explained that I have had this particular business checking account for over a year, and have never bounced a check. I never bounced a check on my account at my prior bank, either.

Plus, it's a BUSINESS account! And my law license can be jeopardized if I bounce checks! Heck, at the Post Office (I LOVE the Post Office) they never even ask for ID with my checks because they reasonably assume that most lawyers won't bounce their checks!

And I'm trying to run a business, here. The amount of goods or services I purchase isn't dictated by some whim, but by what items my business needs to run and/or the number of copies I NEED to make for my clients. In other words, I'm not "pleasure shopping" for fun, I'm writing checks for necessary amounts.

The Telecheck manager informed me there was no way to override it. They can't call my bank and verify the funds and recommend that Office Max accept the check. They can't look at my history with other accounts or other businesses and recommend that Office Max accept the check. They can't use common sense and figure out that a law office might need to write reasonably large checks (This one was actually only $156) rather than a bunch of little checks, and that a law office is pretty unlikely to bounce a check, and recommend that Office Max accept the check. No... if I want to write checks at Office Max, I have to waste my time trying to write a series of checks for smaller amounts, and then Telecheck will think about whether they should accept any of those checks.

So, Telecheck may be nice for the merchant, but is a nightmare for the average person or business owner.

So I called Office Max and asked if there is any way they can simply accept the check and take it straight to their bank and deposit it -- skip Telecheck, in effect. Answer: no. It's corporate policy and they have armored trucks that pick up their checks and deposit them. There is nothing they can do.

So I will have to make a trip to the bank to take out cash, and take the cash to Office Max to pay for the copies. That's an hour out of my day on Monday that I really don't have time for.

And then, after telling me there was nothing she could do to help me, the Office Max manager had the gall to ask me for free advice on her divorce!! I wanted to tell her I'd help her exactly as much as she helped me, but instead I referred her to a useful website.

I am now annoyed with both Telecheck and Office Max. If Office Max won't accept my check and simply take it to their bank (skip Telecheck for God's sake!!), even after they personally spoke with my banker who verified the funds in the account, then I will simply have to go to Staples for my business copies and supplies from now on.

Like the Post Office, Staples accepts my checks with no questions asked.

Yay for Staples!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

AWOL

Depression sucks.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Friday Feature -- The Chubby Chatterbox

Just wanted to share my newest blog "discovery." Stephen Hayes writes wonderfully entertaining tales over at The Chubby Chatterbox.

Get yourself a fresh cup of coffee, then click on the link to drop in, make yourself comfortable, and stay awhile. I think you'll like it there!