A Too-Short Life

My Aunt will start the new year by burying her youngest child.  Suddenly my problems seem insignificant.

I got word yesterday morning that my Cousin - my Dad's youngest sister's child (the youngest of her three daughters) - died suddenly.  Her live-in boyfriend returned home from work on Friday and found her on the couch, dead.

There was no sign of forced entry into her home and there were no marks on her body, nor alcohol / pills lying around that would indicate any sort of violence or suicide.  According to the coroner, she looked "peaceful."

I am ashamed to admit that I did not know this particular cousin well, and so I don't even know exactly how old she is.  (I mean, "was.")  (God, that's hard to write).  She is (was) quite a few years younger than I am, and I have always lived hundreds or thousands of miles away from her.  My Dad was not particularly close to his youngest sister, either, and so we did not visit with her often as my cousins and I were growing up.  There is no anger or estrangement, just not a particularly close relationship.

But I do remember visiting my Aunt when I was about 35, and this particular Cousin of mine was in college at the time.  I was driving through the town my Aunt lived in, and stopped to visit for a while.  My Cousin was at my Aunt's house with a few of her friends that day, and we all had dinner together.  I am guessing she is (was) now in her early 30's.

I remember that she was beautiful, vivacious, and friendly.  I remember that she laughed a lot with her friends and family, that day that I visited.  I remember the obvious love between her and my Aunt.

As a Mom, I cannot even imagine the sadness and despair my Aunt must now be feeling.  To lose her youngest child, at a too-young age...  It hurts just to think about it.

Reminder: Eat Your Black-Eyed Peas for New Year's

My yearly reminder to all of my blogger friends:  For good luck and prosperity, you simply MUST eat black eyed peas first thing on New Year's Day (which, in my world, means they must be eaten at 12:01 a.m., along with your champagne toast to the New Year!)

For a more detailed explanation of  the reasons why you must eat black eyed peas[footnote 1] first thing on New Year's Day, please see this prior post.

For a recap of the bad luck I experienced the one and only year that I forgot to eat the darned peas, please see this prior post.

Here are some links to recipes that will make them delicious for you:

1.  Healthy and Delicious: Southern-Style Black-Eyed Peas with Bacon

I'm not sure how the word "healthy" got included in the title for a recipe that includes bacon but I can vouch for the fact that the bacon will make it delicious!

2.  Crockpot Black-Eyed Peas With Ham

Ham is good, too, and perhaps more traditional than the bacon.  In fact, real Southerners use ham hocks.  Yum!

3.  Spicy Black-Eyed Peas With Tomatoes

And in Louisiana, they like their food spicy.  (See, e.g., Jambalaya).   These are a nice change from the salty, slightly sweet versions above.


Note that the first two recipes call for dried or frozen peas, which taste better than canned, but take longer to prepare than the kind out of the can. No procrastinating if you want them ready on time!

Then again, you could probably substitute the canned peas.  They wouldn't be as delicious, of course, but it would be easier.

Or, if you actually like the canned peas (like I do), and/or if you won't be home but want to be sure you get your good-luck-peas, you can just pop open a can, dump them into a bowl, heat them in the microwave, and you are ready to go within two minutes on New Year's Eve!  Definitely lacks the gourmet flair, but it's quick and practical and will keep you from suffering horrible bad luck all year!

I wish you all the best for the coming year.  May you all be healthy, happy, and prosperous.

* * * *
Footnote 1:  That would be a good name for a punk rock band, wouldn't it?  "The Black Eyed Peas". . .

Christmas 2012

My kids made a gingerbread house.

My daughter ate the gingerbread tree already.  She said it was delicious.  It looks delicious, doesn't it?  (Good thing I got a picture first.)

We also decorated our tree.  And put the train around the base.  And bought presents and wrapped them and put them under the tree....

And I put a couple of decorations out front, to cheer up our house for the neighbors...

Check out the refurbished newspaper vending machine that my husband converted to use as our mailbox.  The plastic light-up snowman is a nice touch, don't you think?

I sent Christmas cards to a few folks.

I decorated the mantel and our green m&m...

I was hoping that if I gave her my duster, she'd use it.  (So far, not working...)

We've been to a holiday party or two.  And had lots of fun, too, actually.

But something is missing this year.  Our pal Sparky.

This is a photo of him from last winter, when we visited the snow.  He was notoriously hard to photograph -- as soon as he saw the camera, he'd come toward you trying to sniff and lick the camera.  But here he is in all his fluffy glory.

He always loved the snow.  And damp grass in the springtime.  And the mountains.  Life just isn't the same without him.

But life does go on, and it's Christmas, and I love it as always.  The decorations, the baking, the once-a-year Christmas music, the lights, the gifts, the festive atmosphere, the celebrations with friends and family, the love in the air ... I look forward to it every year, no matter what.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Update, just in case I have any readers left...

Since the last time I posted, here is a quick summary of what has happened in my life:

Work:

* Lots of depositions have been taken, of witnesses and experts.

* Lots of disclosures and discovery documents have been drafted and updated.

* Numerous emails, letters, motions, and other litigation-related written volleys have flown across my desk and the desks of opposing counsel.

* Numerous telehone calls, with clients and with opposing counsel.

* A couple of court hearings.

* One (unsuccessful) settlement conference - it is hard to settle when the other side refuses to budge from their "$0" number.

* One (unsuccessful) attempt to submit an official bid in response to an RFP from the State for mediators.  I didn't receive the required insurance documents in time.  It didn't help that my insurer promised them weeks before, then did not timely deliver.  But the bottom line is that I should have followed up sometime before the day before the bid was due.

* Numerous job applications and a couple of interviews.  No bites so far.

Family:

* My daughter finished her first swim team season, having improved her "personal best" times substantially, and started her first-ever high school basketball season.  Turns out high school basketball is a lot more intense than junior high.  She is exhausted after every practice.  Her first game is this weekend. I am supposed to run the time clock and I am terrified of making that damn (LOUD) buzzer go off at the wrong times.

* My son got off to a good start in school this year, with his teacher saying he is a great kid and diligent worker in class (first time ever!!).  However, yesterday he complained the teacher was mean to him -- which means he probably did something annoying and got called out for it.

* Our dog, Sparky, died.  He had been losing weight over the summer, and we took him to the vet.  After several expensive vet visits, they figured out he had "tick fever."  They put him on a lengthy regimen of antibiotics and steroids, but he continued to lose weight initially.  He was skin and bones for a while, but by October he had recovered from the tick fever and was feeling happy again, and he had regained most of the weight.  Then he died suddenly, in the space of hours on October 21, from "bloat."  I had never heard of it before my poor dog died of it, but according to at least one web site, it is the second leading killer of dogs.  We are all so devastated by Sparky's death...  He was such a good friend...  I can't believe we didn't know to take him to the vet right away; we thought he just had gas and that it would pass, as it does with people.  It doesn't.  If you own a dog and don't know what bloat is, you need to learn about it RIGHT NOW.  Click on the link.

* My husband got placed on administrative leave from his job just before Thanksgiving. So far, they haven't even told him exactly why. They are "investigating." So now he is hanging around the house all day every day and I love him dearly but, being the somewhat introverted person that I am, I really crave my "personal time" that I used to have. So now I stay up until the wee hours of the morning just so I can have some quiet time in the house after everyone is asleep. And then I don't get enough sleep and I'm tired and cranky all the time. And my husband is (understandably) stressed. And so our household is a little less than fun right now.

* We had Thanksgiving dinner at our wonderful friend Sheri's house because our oven is currently not working.  We just got the stupid thing in 2003, and it's a brand that is supposed to be good, and although it wasn't the fanciest model, it wasn't the bottom of the barrel model either.  It should last longer than 9 years!  So we either need to get it repaired or replaced.  Meanwhile, we gave thanks that our friend's oven was working so that we had a wonderful home in which to cook Turkey and other Thanksgiving deliciousness and share a good meal with friends and family.

* I listened to "Alice's Restaurant" on the radio on the way to Sheri's house on Thanksgiving day and laughed for the first time since learning that my husband was on "administrative leave."  Here is a link to a video of Arlo playing the song live (the embedding feature is disabled, sorry!):

http://youtu.be/5_7C0QGkiVo

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There's more.  These are just the "highlights" (or "lowlights, in some cases).

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None of this explains why I haven't posted.  I just haven't felt up to writing anything that wasn't necessary for work.   I also got an iPad for my birthday.  It sucks up a lot of my time playing stupid games and writing email and surfing around on Facebook while I watch TV in the evenings.  Time I used to spend writing blog posts.  So blame Apple, if you miss me.  :)

If you look up "Obtuse" in the dictionary, her picture is there...

Here is two minute snippet of how my deposition went on Wednesday.  (The facts have been changed to protect the guilty.)

If the witness would have simply answered "yes," "no," or "I don't know" to my questions, we could have been finished in about 3 hours.  Instead, she acted like this, and it took 6 hours:

* * * *

Me:  While Mr. X worked for you, did Mr. X receive training in Y?

Witness:  I have no personal knowledge of that.

Me:  Do you have any kind of knowledge, other than personal knowledge, regarding whether Mr. X received training regarding Y?

Witness:  No.

Me:  So would it be fair to say that you do not know whether Mr. X received training in Y while he worked for you?

Witness:  Well, I have no personal knowledge about that.  

[Editor's note:  her emphasis, not mine!]

Me:  Is there some kind of knowledge other than personal knowledge that you do have regarding whether Mr. X received training in Y while he worked for you?

Witness:  No.

Me:   So then, if you have no personal knowledge and no other kind of knowledge, do you have any knowledge about it at all?

Witness:  Well, I have no personal knowledge about it.

Me:  When I asked you whether Mr. X received training in Y while he worked for you, is there some reason that you could not simply respond "I don't know" or "I don't have any knowledge about it"?

Witness:  I'm just trying to make things clear.

Me:  It would make things very clear if you could simply answer "yes," "no," or "I don't know" to my questions.  Do you think you can do that, so that things will be more clear and so that we can finish this deposition in a reasonable amount of time?

Witness:   OK.

[Editor's note -- she's already not complying...]

Me:  Did Mr. X receive training in Y while he worked for you?

Witness:  I have no personal knowledge about that.

* * * *

Holy crap.  

Can you spell   "I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N-A-L-L-Y   O-B-T-U-S-E"  ?

A Liberal's Prayer (more email fun)

Dear Lord,

I know that I don't talk to you that much, but this year you have 

 taken away:

 my favorite  screenwriter, Nora Ephron,

 my favorite visionary, Steve Jobs,

 my favorite Science Fiction author, Ray Bradbury,

 my favorite childrens' author, Maurice Sendak,

 my favorite oldies disk Jockey, Dick Clark,

 my favorite hairdresser, Vidal Sassoon,

 my favorite Bluegrass Musician, Earl Scruggs,

 my favorite Monkee, Davy Jones,

 my favorite 60 Minutes guy, Mike Wallace,

 my favorite pop singer, Whitney Houston,

 and my favorite TV Sheriff, Andy Griffith,

 I just wanted to let you know that my favorite radio announcer is 

 Rush Limbaugh.

 Amen.

Friday Funny - from my inbox...

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station.


What more can I say?

Sometimes I'm just not that bright...

I picked up my car at the shop after hours on Friday, after having some minor repairs done.  They had locked the keys in it, and left them under the mat for me.  It was dark and I didn't find the keys easily, so I used my spare set to drive it home, leaving the keys under the mat, temporarily.

Got home, parked, opened the car door, gathered my things, hit the "door lock" button on the door of the car, shut the door, went inside the house...  Remembered the spare set of keys under the mat as I walked into the house, but  I was tired, so I figured I'd just get them next time I went out.

Saturday, I needed to go to the store, but I couldn't find my keys.  I looked everywhere for them, without success.  Finally, in desperation, I called AAA - I figured they could unlock the car and open it, and then I could get the spare set from under the mat, and I'd just find the regular set later when I had more time to search.

AAA arrived very quickly (fewer than 10 minutes!), and the man used his "breaking into cars" tool and opened the door in about 15 seconds flat.

(I must say, I'm not encouraged about my chances if a car thief decides he wants my car... !)

So I opened the car door and what did I find?  Both sets of keys under the mat.  I guess I must have put the regular set under the mat instead of getting the spare set out from under it when I parked Friday night.  And no, I had *not* been drinking!

I don't know what I was thinking with that one...  Sometimes, I'm just not that bright...

Phriday Foto -- Hot Dog!

Just....  wow!

Pulitzer Project Book Review - The Road - Cormac McCarthy

I promised this review a long time ago. Some of you may have forgotten (or never have known) about it, it's been so long.

Click here for the run-down on the Pulitzer Project.

Click here for the "rules" for participation on this blog (they basically boil down to, "criticize all you like, but be respectful," and here for the Spoiler Alert.

I've taken way too long to try to write this review.  And I've put off reading other Pulitzer books while waiting to post the review of this one.  I just kept putting it off.  And ignoring it.  And avoiding it.  And putting it off some more.  At first, I thought it was because I was trying to come up with something "new" or creative to say about the book.  Then I thought it was because I was busy.  But really, no one is *that* busy.  Then I thought it was because I needed to refresh my memory about the book to make sure I didn't leave out anything important in reviewing it.

None of those reasons was the real reason. In the end, I've concluded that I put off writing about it for so long because I didn't really like it.

While I was reading it, it drew me in.  I read it in just a couple of days on a vacation.  Despite the lack of much of a plot (just a father and son walking, walking, walking through a post-apocalyptic, completely destroyed world, seeking food, shelter, and safety from roving mobs of armed and dangerous cannabilistic thugs), I kept turning the pages, wanting to see "what comes next."

McCarthy writes well, and certainly raises (without really answering) some interesting questions about the meaning of existence and why it is that we keep on keeping on even when the deck is stacked against us and life just sucks. And also I kept thinking, heck, the book won a Pulitzer, so there must be *something* good about it that merited the prize.  (Then again, maybe the Pulitzer award givers enjoy this post-apocalyptic depressing crap...)

But when all was said and done, I heartily disliked the repetitive, bleak scenes and the disutopian outlook.  I felt drained and sad after reading it, and no more "enlightened" than before I started.  And so I'm done.  I'm moving on.  I'm not going to write any more about this book.  And it may be a while before I'm motivated to read anything else by McCarthy.  Too damn depressing.

If someone out there actually liked it, please tell me what redeeming qualities it has.  Maybe I'll learn to appreciate it.  But as it stands now, I'm writing off this Pulitzer winner as a dud.

And suddenly I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders.  I am now free to move on to (hopefully) better prize-winners in my quest to read them all.  To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (I hope, without offending anyone who thinks it is trite to compare my feelings about moving on from this depressingly awful book to Dr. King's feelings about ending racism -- I admit there is no comparison but I swear I just feel so exuberant!):

Free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!