Tuesday, January 20, 2009

More Kid Funnies

When my daughter was in preschool, I became pregnant with baby #2. Being the neurotic mom that I am, I rushed out and bought a book entitled "What to Expect When Mommy Is Having a Baby" to help my daughter more fully understand the pregnancy concept. It was a good book for a preschooler, if a little "too cute." It provided simple information about how the baby grows inside the mom and how it is born, with helpful, anatomically correct but not overly graphic or detailed, illustrations.

My daughter loved it, and I had to read it to her every night for what felt like 6 years but can't possibly have been more than 9 months, since she let me stop reading it after the baby was born.

If you want to get a feel for the book, click here and check out a couple of pages. (Dr. Z, don't get your hopes up. There are no good boobie illustrations here.)

One day when I went to pick her up at her preschool, I overheard the following conversation:

Small kid voice: "My mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

Preschool teacher's perky happy voice: "That's right, Analisia, she does. LegalMist's Kid, your mommy has a baby growing her her tummy, too, doesn't she?"

LegalMist's Kid: "Well, actually, it's called a "Uterus."

Ay yi yi. I love that she learned the anatomically correct information, and I was proud of her for pronouncing it correctly. Not so thrilled that she felt she should show off her knowledge in such a condescending way!
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12 comments:

Green said...

Are you my mother? My mom started talking to me about how I arrived while I was a baby (she's a fan of the How Did I Get Here and What's Happening To Me Now books). She took me to the supermarket one day with her friend, and a lady in line behind us asked me if I grew inside my mother's belly. Just like your daughter, I told her no, I grew in her uterus. And then proceeded to explain how I got there.

This was in the late 70's, when each cashier had a microphone at the register so they could say "I need a price!" and I gave a sexual education speech to the entire supermarket, all at the age of two.

I've never had stage fright.

SkylersDad said...

I'm sorry, I am a bit confused here. What role does the stork play in all this?

Laura said...

That's too funny - I bet she was teaching those other kids a thing or two!

Kim Ayres said...

Apparently when my aunt was expecting her 2nd, she explained everything that was going on to her eldest in the hope it would all be natural and clearly understood.

Upon the arrival of the baby, my elder cousin is said to have remarked, "well, he's very nice, but next time do you think you could grow me a puppy?"

Alice said...

I hope my daughter will be able to do that...must buy book

LegalMist said...

Green -- that's hilarious.
And no, I'm not your mother, but I guess I share her '70's philosophy that kids need real information...as opposed to...

Skyler's Dad -- stork tales! Does anyone really tell their kids this? I think if my kids thought birds could bring babies they'd be terrified of birds.

Laura -- glad you liked the story. :)

Kim -- My daughter would have preferred a puppy, too. Or even a pig or a rat. Anything but the "little bratty brother" she got...

LegalMist said...

Alice -- wasn't trying to leave you out -- just got your comment after I posted the prior responses. I'll send you mine, if you want it. I'm done with it!

Bella@That damn expat said...

That is awesome!

Angie said...

That's adorable!

Fancy Schmancy said...

I never used anything but anatomically correct terms with my son. I'll never forget how much my mother cringed every time I said penis. And she was a nurse!

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

That's a great story! She taught her teacher a lesson. :)

Jenners said...

Hi! Just back from vacation and getting caught up with your blog. This was too funny! You should be proud! It reminded me of when my son and I were eating popcorn one day and I said "Don't eat those hard little beans" and he said "They are called kernals, Mommy. I learned that at school." I was quite humbled.

And just to let you know that I live outside of Philly and have been a lifelong Eagles fan so I'm unamused by your little Cardinals getting to the SuperBowl at the expense of my Eagles. We had you on the run at the end, didn't we? A little bit? But in the spirit of good sportsmanship, I wish them all the luck.